After spending an unpleasant night, and not feeling at all well, I am up, and will soon commence writing a letter—spent the first part of the morning at work— O! It is so warm, I don’t think the rain cooled the air at all—I will send my daguerreotype off to-day, I don’t think it very good—This time next week if we all like, and nothing happens to prevent, I will be at Shocco—I hope I may have a pleasant trip, or at least visit—Cousin and Cousin John expect to be there, and I hope Cousins Sarah and Martha. Mother received a letter from Aunt Stuart last night—how I would hate to be “all alone” in the wide wide, and cold cold “world”—how thankful I should be for the many blessings, I enjoy, the comfortable home, dear relations, and my many little pleasures to be in this world without, one single person to call on, one that you know feels for, and with much indeed be a sad sad lot—I pray God may keep me from such a one—I feel so sad, and wretched. I wish I could overcome such feelings—I ought to look on the bright side—Yesterday I fell down the steps, and my back is suffering from it to-day—O! It is so warm—I will stop for the present with the hope of being able to say I have received a letter when I write to-night—

Saturday Night 8th.

It is late, time for bed, company just left, it was well for me that I did not know the disappointment I had to bear, while they were here, for hope kept me up—I spent nearly all day in writing a letter 15 & ½ pages long (note paper) finished after dinner and sent it off—This evening the Bryans, at least Betsy and Misses Pettigrew called, I did not go in to see them—but went off to ride, Sister Arabella just as we passed Cousin Margarets—Cousin Louis ran out, and gave me half a water melon—the first I have seen this season—After ten Mr Charlie Graham, and Mr Jimmie Averett of New Berne, called found the latter rather pleasant in conversation, the former was low spirited, or something was wrong with him—How sad. O! How wretchedly I feel this night, I did hope I would receive a letter this night—but alas! “Disappointment is the lot of all”—I hope, and therefore ‘tis [illegible] low. May to-morrow night find me happy at having had good news from one I love—I pray it may—But I will not think—would I could help it! Will at any rate get to bed, and see if it impossible to drown thoughts in sleep—May me dreams at least be pleasant—Good night—